There is something unsettling about emptiness, those voids we fear could hold our worst nightmare: maybe who we really are, or a life of nothingness and loneliness. So we panic and try, too often, to fill the spaces in our lives with other people. Rarely do we allow ourselves expand to occupy the emptiness. We stay limited, potential suspended in the search for someone whom we can make a perfect size. Could be a romantic interest to overwhelm, could be a mentor to idolise, could be a friend to wear out.
But we could be the right size for the spaces we ask others to fill if only we would allow ourselves grow, stretch, expand to be more than we are at present, to be enough for ourselves.
You see, growing up is not only about occupying spaces in the world around us or learning enough to be the best fit for roles that lead to some other, more important, roles. We grow up to become useful to ourselves too, to nurture our own depth so we can find comfort within and maybe even be the saving grace we wish someone else could be for us.
So ask yourself sincerely, am I enough for myself?
If you are, are you filling as many spaces as you can in your life? And if you are not, growing up should be on your schedule. That is the natural order of things.