33

Until I knew myself, I looked for my meaning in other people’s definitions. And because those definitions always vary, so did my feelings about myself. Stress.

The things I need are easier to get than the things I want. My pursuit has changed, energy has been redirected and conserved.

The social yardstick for happiness is an impossibly long thing, narcissism is a trap and I really don’t give a damn about my selfies or yours.

Things left unsaid are some of the most terrifying ghosts. I like my peace, so I say everything and avoid the haunting.

Your perspective is not more important than mine but neither view is going to change the world right this minute. Let’s turn the pointless arguments several notches down and have ice cream instead.

Spoken or not, there’s always a ‘but’ after saying “I hear you.” Don’t say it if you really heard me.

You’re not that funny.

Why are you trying so hard to sound smart with people who just want to have sex? You’re wasting their time.

When we pound yam, where does our sweat go?

Some of your best friends are at work. Look up more often, say something kind, share a snack.

Everyone’s a mess on their day.

The angry internet mob is often more self-righteous than accurate.

Hugs are essential. Repeat several times a day.

Practise being alone and enjoying it. Introverts may be on to something.

We can be tired and still be decent human beings. It’s not even that hard.

Forgiveness is the best gift I’ve ever given myself.

I’m done saying “That’s just the way I am.” I can be other things, I can be a better version of myself.

Flexibility is a skill worth learning. Rigid people break too easily.

Parents are living their lives for the first time too. They’re allowed to be wrong. (See 20.)

We don’t have to put up with their nonsense though. Move out if you have to.

Promises are dangerous things. I avoid making them.

They built us mountains of expectations we’re supposed to spend a lifetime climbing. No, thanks.

Do we date the wrong people because we’re lonely or are we lonely because we date the wrong people?

I have an answer to every question. Sometimes, it’s a question: “Why?”

Leave people’s faith alone… until they start bothering you with it.

I don’t know why I believe, I just believe. It’s enough for me.

Have you helped yourself, loved yourself, been kind to yourself lately?

You need someone who listens for the things you don’t always say. We all do.

“I’m happy for you” is better shown, not said.

Shut up sometimes. Contain your ignorance.

Save some money by all means.

You don’t need a filter when the laughter is real.

Nobody knows where we’re going to end up.